It's a lot.
Starting over in a new country is a lot.
Yes, there are exciting times. There’s the giddiness of it — the new coffee shops, the unfamiliar streets, the new life awaiting you in a place you don’t have a history with yet.
But there’s also a lot of stuff no one really talks about.
The tax identification number you need before you can do anything. The proof of address you need on every form — before you actually have one. The bank account you can’t open without proof of address. The forms. The storage units. The new phone number with the relevant country code. The explaining yourself, over and over, to people who are just doing their jobs but who have no idea what it took for you to get to their desk.
Did I mention the forms?
It’s a lot. It’s genuinely, unglamorously a lot. And it sits alongside the excitement in a way that can feel confusing — like you’re not allowed to complain about it because you chose this, because look at you, living the dream.
I get it. Because I’m right in the middle of it.
Last December I boarded a flight to Lisbon with a very strong premonition that I would probably want to make my visit much longer than just an exploratory trip. I’ve been on a whirlwind adventure, literally just trusting my intuition and putting one foot in front of the other since I left London last July. I’m building something new, figuring it out as I go. I can’t believe how much has happened in 10 months, it feels like multiple lifetimes. I’m honestly still working through it all.
As a British-American expat and therapeutic coach, I work with people navigating this same messy, exciting, exhausting territory. Not because I have it all figured out, but because I know what it means to build it from the ground up, and I think that matters.
One of my coaches once told me that the ideal coach is only 2–3 steps ahead of where you currently are, not so far ahead that you can’t imagine yourself where they are, but far enough ahead that their reality still feels like a stretch for you. From a neuroscience perspective, this relates to the concept of social proof: when we see someone we can relate to achieve something, it becomes easier to believe that we can achieve it too.
It’s important to have mentors, coaches, friends and people around us who help us grow and model what’s possible — but also people we genuinely relate to.
If any of this resonates, or if you feel I might be one of those people for you, I’d love to hear from you. If you’d like to book a free intro call and have a conversation, feel free to reach out!